I am extremely grateful for two big gifts from my father. First, my sense of humor - the ability to see the humor in something while it is happening. That has cushioned my life. I am also grateful for the work of St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. It has enriched my life and made me a very different person.

A society is judged by the way it cares for its most vulnerable citizens. As an American, I am ashamed that we have turned out backs on millions of our children. I want to do my part to rectify this terrible situation.

One of the things women are very good at, that's networking. Women are not afraid to say, "I need." They're not afraid. Men won't even ask for directions. Women will tell each other when they need something. Women will tell each other when their husband is having an affair. Men don't do that.

I realize now that I was a feminist and the minute I heard the word I certainly knew it meant me, but at that time I don't think we had the label yet. But there's no doubt about it that I was born a feminist.

I think that there's got to be a comic gene in some way, but it's so much about it is how you grow up.

[On husband Phil Donahue:] The man does not know the meaning of the word tidy. He asked me one day, 'Where are my shoes?' So I asked him, 'Where are my shoes?' I don't know what it is about men. They think that women have radar attached to our uteruses.

Marriage is like a vacuum cleaner. You stick it to your ear and it sucks out all your energy and ambition.