I don't know what people expect when they meet me. They seem to be afraid that I'm going to piss in the potted palm and slap them on the ass.

I thank you for not snoring.

If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn't like me, I've got to get out.

If you want something from an audience, you give blood to their fantasies. It's the ultimate hustle.

Elvis Presley... had nothing to do with excellence, just myth.

Mafia is the best example of capitalism we have.

Ask most kids about details about Auschwitz or about how the American Indians were assassinated as a people and they don't know anything about it. They don't want to know anything. Most people just want their beer or their soap opera or their lullaby.