You can't live in the past, there's nothing you can do about it.
All top players are the same strokewise, but mentally I can improve and that's where it's at for top players.
No matter where I go, I always make friends at the bridge table
The more people come out, the less it will be an issue.
Changes made to please others are unrealistic, but more important, they're unfair to you.
Just put one foot in front of the other and don't worry about the length of the path. Once you get on that path, and the longer you stay on it, there eventually will come a time when you will not turn back.