My brother said that at Eton, students were told caning builds character. I suppose girls are caned less because we aren't thought to have much character." "Which is the sort of thing males say when they don't know any women.

A witty vicar once said that a good marriage is like a pair of scissors with the couple inseparable joined, often moving in opposite directions, yet always destroying anyone who comes between them. The trick is for the blades to learn to work smoothly together, so as not to cut each other.

Parents and children were put on earth to give each other grief. You were my punishment for how I behaved to my own father. And I'll have my revenge when you have children of your own.

I've always thought of this city as Disneyland for adults. ... There's no danger of Las Vegas expiring from an excess of good taste.

Competence is a great creator of confidence.

What one loves in childhood stays in the heart forever.

I love Christmas. A time to slow down and enjoy life and be with my family and friends. In busy years, it keeps me sane. In bad years, it makes me feel whole again.