I have never been normal about my body. It has always seemed to me a strange and foreign entity. I don't know that there was ever a time when I was not conscious of it. As far back as I can think, I was aware of my own corporeality, my physical imposition on space.
Marya HornbacherI think many people with a chronic illness would prefer not to have their chronic illness, simply because it's high maintenance.
Marya HornbacherThere's childhood and early onset bipolar, but it transitions in your early adulthood into something a little bit different, and extremely severe. It was at that time that my impulse control just went out the window. Impulse control when you're manic just disappears.
Marya HornbacherSome people who are obsessed with food become gourmet chefs. Others become eating disorders.
Marya HornbacherSoon madness has worn you down. Itโs easier to do what it says than argue. In this way, it takes over your mind. You no longer know where it ends and you begin. You believe anything it says. You do what it tells you, no matter how extreme or absurd. If it says youโre worthless, you agree. You plead for it to stop. You promise to behave. You are on your knees before it, and it laughs.
Marya Hornbacher