The joy is an absurd yellow tulip, popping up in my life, contradicting all the evidence that shows it should not be there.

But in some ways, the most significant choices one makes in life are done for reasons that are not all that dramatic, not earth-shaking at all; often enough, the choices we make are, for better or for worse, made by default.

One really ought to be afraid of self-torture. But it tempted me. It begged. The dark place that my mind was fast becoming blends, in my memory, with the dark womb of church: the chant, the fugue of prayer, the strange erotic energy that carving a very small cross into my thigh with a nail had brought.

You will miss her sometimes. Bear in mind she's trying to kill you. Bear in mind you have a life to live.

Hatred is so much closer to love than indifference.

Recovery isn’t easy, at first. It takes time. It takes more work, sometimes, than you think you’re willing to do. But it is worth every hard day, every tear, every terrified moment. It’s worth it, because the trade-off is this: you let go of your eating disorder, and you get back your life.

Falling in love happens so suddenly that it seems, all at once, that you have always been in love.