Recovery isnโt easy, at first. It takes time. It takes more work, sometimes, than you think youโre willing to do. But it is worth every hard day, every tear, every terrified moment. Itโs worth it, because the trade-off is this: you let go of your eating disorder, and you get back your life.
Marya HornbacherFalling in love happens so suddenly that it seems, all at once, that you have always been in love.
Marya HornbacherMy relationships with both my mother and father are good. We spent several difficult years hashing over the problems and the past, and worked out a fairly solid middle ground. I wouldn't say my relationship with either of them - they're no longer together - is exactly typical, but that would be difficult after all we went through.
Marya HornbacherI know how this feels: the tightening of the chest, the panic, the what-have-I-done-wait-I-was-kidding. Eating disorders linger so long undetected, eroding the body in silence, and then they strike. The secret is out. You're dying.
Marya HornbacherI have never been normal about my body. It has always seemed to me a strange and foreign entity. I don't know that there was ever a time when I was not conscious of it. As far back as I can think, I was aware of my own corporeality, my physical imposition on space.
Marya HornbacherCrazy isnยดt always what they say it is. Itยดs not always the old woman wearing sneakers and a skirt and a scarf, wandering around with a shopping cart, hollering at no one, nothing, tumbling through years in her head. No. Sometimes it is a girl wearing boots and jeans and a sweater, arms crossed in front of her, shivering, wandering through the streets at night, all night, murmuring to no one, nothing, tumbling through the strange unreal dimensions in her head.
Marya Hornbacher