My intentions go one way, my desires another. Thus I feel both self-indulgent and deprived.
Like an electric tea-kettle, pornography comes to a boil very fast.
Even boredom has its crises.
Repetition comforts me for a time, then closes in.
Anxiety and lust are evicting the older passions.
The nature of language may determine what most people say, but I always speak my own meaning.