Never invite to dinner: those who won't decide until the last minute; those who come more than half an hour late; those who want to bring along two or three friends; drunks; monologists; those who stay until three o'clock in the morning; those who think that conversation means having an argument; those who take a high moral tone; those who are stupid, ugly, or dull. Enforcement of these rules will enable one to eat alone every night in comfort.

Friendship is love minus sex and plus reason. Love is friendship plus sex minus reason

Excrement can never be culturally elaborated to the extent that nutriment can.

Violence stops thought. Hence its popularity as a pain-killer.

I dream of vague shapes that hint of my heart's desire.

Beggars beg to get money, not to reproach the passerby.

Reality is the name we give to our disappointments.