I look a little like Beaker. I think I'm a cross between Beaker and The Count. My hair looks like Oscar the Grouch. It's Muppety hair.

I once gave a girl a bloody fake ear in a Tiffany jewelry box with a letter that said, “will you Gogh to prom with me?

At my sexiest, I look like an androgenous Muppet.

Cargo pants freak me out. Too many pockets. I always forget where my wallet is.

I've seen so many beautiful curvy women gain success in hollywood and then wither into bobble headed stick figures in some grotesque attempt to fit a revolting hollywood trend. I like real women, not the broomsticks that Hollywood has been selling lately.

I think it's perfectly acceptable and rather admirable to be moderately delusional

I found out that smoking is the leading cause of statistics.