There is in the human race some dark spirit of recalcitrance, always pulling us in the direction contrary to that in which we are reasonably expected to go.

The hospitable instinct is not wholly altruistic. There is pride and egoism mixed up with it.

To destroy is still the strongest instinct of our nature.

People seem to think there is something inherently noble and virtuous in the desire to go for a walk.

Golf: The most ... perfect expression of National Stupidity.

Strange when you come to think of it, that of all countless folk who have lived on this planet, not one is known in history or in legend as having died of laughter.

Not that I had any special reason for hating school. Strange as it may seem to my readers, I was not unpopular there. I was a modest, good-humoured boy. It is Oxford that has made me insufferable.