Sometimes I feel that I am a natural born genius in a field of human endeavor that hasn't been invented yet

It seems to be a law of nature that no man, unless he has some obvious physical deformity, ever is loth to sit for his portrait.

Every one, even the richest and most munificent of men, pays much by cheque more light-heartedly than he pays little in specie.

Golf: The most ... perfect expression of National Stupidity.

By its very looseness, by its way of evoking rather than defining, suggesting rather than saying, English is a magnificent vehicle for emotional poetry.

Nobody ever died of laughter.

One might well say that mankind is divisible into two great classes: hosts and guests.