I think Americans are at our best when we recover from a crisis. We've suffered some blows that other countries would have never recovered from.

If you believe you can accomplish everything by "cramming" at the eleventh hour, by all means, don't lift a finger now. But you may think twice about beginning to build your ark once it has already started raining

There comes a point when you have to realize that the sum of all your blood, sweat, and tears will ultimately amount to zero.

I actually wrote my first zombie book way before I got the job on 'Saturday Night Live.

There's a word for that kind of lie. Hope.

The dead walk among us. Zombies, ghouls-no matter what their label-these somnambulists are the greatest threat to humanity, other than humanity itself.

Lies are neither bad nor good. Like a fire they can either keep you warm or burn you to death, depending on how they're used.