I would have been a disastrous soldier.

People who get on at school are the ones who play by the rules, and no one's going to get far in later life playing by the system.

Lots of us when we're children believe 'oh well, if the world knew us as we really are, they'd know what wonderful, clever, brilliant, charming people we really are.'

We're taking part in a divine comedy and we should realise that the play is always a comedy, in that we're all ultimately ridiculous.

There was no doubt that in the early and mid-eighties that many of us in broadsheet newspapers felt that we still had a responsibility to try to protect the Royal Family or if you like protect the Monarchy from the assaults of the media.

When I am fishing, I think quite a lot about the fish, but I also think about the book I'm writing.

If you can't get a job as a pianist in a brothel, you become a royal reporter.