But I’m living proof you don’t have to spend a lot in order to look great.

Emerson:bite me Whitne:you wish

I've come to the conclusion that, aside from Nazis, the Taliban, and possibly the honey badger, there is no one on the planet more merciless than a teenage girl once she's decided she dislikes you.

Friend Tim shakes hands with Perfect Specimen of Mankind. Will never wash right hand again.

Okay, yeah, he staggered back and fell into the condiments. Big deal. There wasn't any blood. I didn't even get him in the face. He saw my fist coming, and at the last minute he ducked, so instead of punching him in the nose, like I intended, I ended up punching him in the neck. I highly doubt it even left a bruise.

I stare at her, as dumbstruck as if she'd just admitted she's a Scientologist with an invitation to join Tom and Katie on the spaceship when it shows up.

Sometimes what you want is right in front of you. All you have to do is open your eyes and see it.