Hormones are very powerful things. We are helpless in their wake.

So take my advice: whatever you do? Don’t blink

And I'm going to tell the truth: I didn't like that Sean Penn movie Into the Wild so much. Yes! I know it was critically acclaimed. I know it won all these awards! It's very sad that a boy is dead and all. But I thought the movie Enchanted, with the singing princess and the chipmunk and the people dancing in Central Park, was cuter. So there!

But. . . you said we were going to play Parcheezi. . .

Though I imagine in your case, trying not to fall just made you fall harder.

Tell me what game Steph Landry and I used to play in the big dirt pile they made while they were digging my family’s pool, back when we were both seven, or I’ll know you’re an alien replacement and you’ve got the real Steph up in your mother ship!” I glared at him. “G.I. Joe meets Spelunker Barbie,” I said. “And stop being so ridiculous. We have to go. We’re going to end up at a bad table for lunch.

Lana says J.P. makes Matt Damon from the Bourne movies look like Oliver from Hannah Montana