Mia, I'm not sorry. And I'll wait. Love, Michael.

You'll blow up a helicopter, but you won't go out with me? What is wrong with you?

You know what you sound like? A jealous girl friend. And how are things on Planet You Wish?

One of the biggest motivations for me with writing my books is to offer girls some escapism, especially girls who really need it, like I did.

Of course. I was on the run from evil spirits that wanted to kill me and now, according to the local paper, the law. Yet Richard Smith, cemetery sexton and death deity scholar, had a book for me to read in all my copious spare time.

I have nothing against Sean Penn. I don't even mind that he ended up divorcing Madonna. I mean, I still like Shia LaBeouf even though he chose to star in Transformers, which turned out to be a movie about robots from space. That Talk. Which is just as bad as choosing to divorce Madonna, if you ask me

I've never even been to Long Island