I'm sorry, Heather, but everything was not just fine before I got here. You know how I know that? Because you're dead. Okay? You are dead. Dead people don't have lockers, or best friends, or boyfriends. You know why? Because they're dead.-Suze Simon

Why can't you just get married in Las Vegas like normal Americans?

But I guess you would look beatific, too, if the man you had been in love with since the fifth grade had told you that he was in love with you, too.

There are nice, funny, totally good-looking guys out there. You just have to know where to look…and apparently, where NOT to look.

I just got a fortune cookie that says "Turn off your computer and read a book" which is odd because I'm WRITING a book...on my computer!

I really wanted to be veterinarian, but I got a 410 on my math SATs.

It's truly weird how everyone just thinks they can bring me Diet Coke and everything will be okay. Especially since it's pretty much true.-Lizzie Nichols