I'm so suspicious of boys-slash-men. I just don't like them or trust them.

I was always übersexual...I was always wearing the smallest clothes I could find. I would go to the mall like that — in a short, short skirt and a giant wedge heel. That's what you do when you're a teenage girl in a small town.

I think you accidentally learn things in high school that turn out to be life lessons when you are able to step back a bit and study them in more depth.

If you're billed as a comedian, people will accept anything you say as light-hearted and not with intent behind it.

I honestly don't think that I am cool enough or important enough that anyone would care about what I am doing at all hours of the day like "I just had a latte from Starbucks and now I am going to Barney's. Love me some shoes!

I personally always find something really scary about watching little girls learning to manipulate their dads by baby talking. Then they grow up and use the same technique on their boyfriends or husbands. That scares me because it's just so sick on so many levels.

Until you have kids, you can't imagine how much you could possibly love a human being.