Sometimes grief is a comfort we grant ourselves because it's less terrifying than trying for joy.

I do not like that I allowed my past to close me off. I do not like that I let circumstances rob me of the ability to have a normal relationship with a man, to have friends, to be happy. I do not like it, but I had felt myself powerless against it.

I know everything and nothing about him all at the same time.

When everything changes we learn who we really are. What’s really important. What we want most. We discover the truth in moments of disarray.

I knew him, but I don't understand him.

And you’re not afraid of it ending?” “Sure I am. But I’d rather have something this good for a little while than have nothing forever.

Sometimes when things break, you can hold them together for a while with string or glue or tape. Sometimes, nothing will hold what’s broken, and the pieces fly all over, and though you think you might be able to find them all again, one or two will always be missing. I flew apart. I broke. I shattered like a crystal vase dropped on a concrete floor, and pieces of me scattered all over. Some of them I was glad to see go. Some I never wanted to see again.