I used to think that I wouldn't change anything from my past, because doing so would inevitably affect who I am now. But considering my current state, I'm thinking it might not be a bad idea to go back in time to fix things.
Megan McCaffertyZen cuts straight through the Quidditch match in progress and almost gets taken down by a Beater hurling a Nerf quaffle right at his machopartes.
Megan McCaffertyWhat I envy most about you and everyone else heading back to school is the certainty of it all. Youโve got a prescribed set of requirements to guide you through the next few years. Focus your energy on the completion of those assignments and youโll succeed. Guaranteed. Whereโs my syllabus to guide me through life?
Megan McCaffertyAnd now, as I'm lying alone in my own bed, I keep thinking about writhing against him last night, naked and vulnerable. Even after we'd both risen and fallen, peaked and plummeted, even after Marcus was physically shrinking from inside me, I couldn't stop clutching, crying, trying. Trying to pull him deeper, deeper, deeper within. Trying to make him more a part of me than I am myself.
Megan McCaffertyFortunately for me, I'm still evolving into the person I'm supposed to be. And though they don't know it yet, and may not come to accept it, I'm done living by their protocols or anyone else's. I'm the only one who will take credit for my successes. And I'm the only one who will take the blame for my mistakes. From now on, I live for me.
Megan McCaffertySince Iโve known you, youโve been spinning and spinning and spinning into all these various personas, and none of this self-exploration and experimentation has given you a sense of peace. Iโve known you for six years, intimately for four, and I still have no idea who Iโm in love with.
Megan McCafferty