We want to get people laughing; we don't want to offend anybody.

I only direct in self-defense.

I make people laugh for a living. I believe I can say objectively that what I do I do as well as anybody. Just say I'm one of the best broken field runners that ever lived. For 35 years I was a cult hero, an underground funny.

Comedy is serious - deadly serious. Never, never try to be funny! The actors must be serious. Only the situation must be absurd. Funny is in the writing, not in the performing. If the situation isn't absurd, no amount of joke will help.

Don’t be stupid, be a smarty / Come and join the Nazi Party!

One day, God said 'Let there be prey.' And he created pigeons, rabbits, lambs and Gene Wilder.

Tolstoy was the most gifted writer who ever lived. It's like he stuck a pen in his heart and it didn't even go through his mind on its way to the page.