A good conspiracy is unprovable. I mean, if you can prove it, it means they screwed up somewhere along the line.

I was known for being a bit of a clown. I remember my dad got me aside and said, "Just remember, everybody likes a clown, but nobody pays him." I've often been tempted to call him and say, "Remember how you told me...?" "Yeah?" "Yes, they do."

Acting is like lying. The art of lying well. I'm paid to tell elaborate lies.

The guy who's in charge isn't going to be the front man, ever.

People always ask me to list my greatest accomplishments, expecting me to rattle off a bunch of movies I've made, but what I'm proudest of is my kids.

We all present a version of ourselves whether you've got a puppet on your hand or not. To actually be very real out there in a public way, why?

What are you looking at sugar-tits?