I tried to avoid Mimi. Her presence seemed to call forth every rejection I'd ever experienced-the teachers who'd looked at me as though I held no promise, the boys who didn't like me back. Around her, I became fourteen again.
Melissa BankDuring chemo, you're more tired than you've ever been. It's like a cloud passing over the sun, and suddenly you're out. But you also find that you're stronger than you've ever been. You're clear. Your mortality is at optimal distance, not up so close that it obscures everything else, but close enough to give you depth perception. Previously, it has taken you weeks, months, or years to discover the meaning of an experience. Now it's instantaneous.
Melissa BankIt scares me. But then I get this big feeling, simple but exalted: He's like me, just with different details.
Melissa BankHe gives me a kiss that barely touches my lips โ it means nothing or everything. After heโs gone, I think, Happy birthday to me. Jack says, โThat was the guy?โ โThat was him.โ Jake shakes his head. โWhat?โ โHeโs not for you,โ he says. I say, โHow do you know?โ but what I mean is, How do you know? โHeโs like Ashley Wilkes,โ he says. โAny one of these guys is Rhett-ier than he is.โ Again, I ask my benignly inflected, โHow do you know?โ โHow do I know?โ he says, tackling me into a bear hug. โHow do I know? I know, thatโs how I know.
Melissa Bank