I've been every size in the world. Parts of my 20s, I was in great shape, but I didn't appreciate it. If I was a 6 or an 8, I thought, "Why aren't I a 2 or a 4?" Now I feel like I have two great kids and the dreamiest husband on the planet, and everything else is just a work in progress.

Hollywood wants to make women so perfect. Perfect hair. Perfect job. Perfect manners... I know some of the most beautiful women, and they are so weird. That's what makes them funny and captivating.

I don't really know why I'm not thinner than I am.

I believe in Heaven. I don't believe that this is it, and then we're done.

I just don't lose weight easily.

Comedy to me is all about the bumps and bruises and weird tics.

Part of being young is you thinking that gaining 6 lbs. Is the end of the world