Willie Nelson's the one who told me the reason it costs so much to get divorced is because it's worth it.

We're bar room buddies and we're the best kind, nobody messes with that friend of mine. Chug-a-lug-a-lug-a-lugga, bar room buddy of mine.

Keep your opinions to yourself. I think it's important that I stay neutral on politics and remain hard to understand. I don't want to be pigeonholed as conservative, liberal, independent or anything. I back the man for the things the man believes in, not whether it says "R" or "D" down there beside his name.

There's a rumor that there may be an attempt at organizing a possible script for a series on my life, which, when you look at my police record, you'd have to have more than one hour to tell the story.

I probably wouldn't even be here now if it weren't for chiropractic

When you get to readin' about where the music and John Steinbeck and all those people like that come from, the further you go the more interesting it becomes.

Sometimes if you get 'em too drunk they don't pay no attention to what you're doin' anyways, so you might as well just do old songs. But if you get one that's paying attention, sometimes we'll do some new material.