You don't make any money when you're my age. The stars get it all. That's a lie, actually.

I heard my first laughter on stage, when I was about 10 years old. It was gold pantomime and I remember I was playing Baron Fitznoodle, who was the father of the ugly sisters in "Cinderella." And I walked on and got a great big laugh and I thought that was fantastic, until I looked down and found that my flies were open. And so I always check my flies. I even check my flies on radio.

I regard myself as someone who is retired but who occasionally goes out to work. In fact, I'm offered so much good stuff that it's not so occasional.

The old guys like me started in the theatre. I was in the theatre for nine years.

I don't like getting up early in the morning and learning all that stuff. I work with offers that I can't refuse.

Anyone can write. But comedy, you've got to do some writing. You get one comedy script to every 20 dramas.

Every magic trick consists of three parts, or acts. The first part is called the Pledge. The magician shows you something ordinary. The second act is called the Turn. The magician takes the ordinary something and makes it into something extraordinary. But you wouldn't clap yet, because making something disappear isn't enough. You have to bring it back.