I was watching cartoons on television and a commercial came on for one of the Batman series where I played a butler. And then my grandson looked up at me and he said, "Do you know Batman?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Really," I said, "Yeah." I said I know him very well. And he told all the boys at school, he said, "My grandpa knows Batman. Does your grandpa know Batman? OK, no. Mine does.

Oh, what a shock. My career must be slipping. This is the first time I've been available to pick up an award.

I want to stick around with the big boys. I don't want to be in the old folks home.

If I see any injustice done, I have a big enough mouth and the position to open up about it.

How can I change me to suit the script?

You don't retire from the movies. The movies retire you.

I don't want to sound like Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells, but I do think there should be some sort of national service for young men.