The story is a testament to the consolations that get me through and give meaning to every area of my life.

I saw a birthday card the other day, and it said, "If you didn't know how old you were, how old would you think you were?" I started changing it in my mind right away to, "If you didn't know how sick you were, how sick would you think you were?"

The secret to a good marriage, as far as I am concerned, is a joke I make: Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.

Zoos are becoming facsimiles - or perhaps caricatures - of how animals once were in their natural habitat. If the right policies toward nature were pursued, we would need no zoos at all.

You know you're old when you get a lifetime achievement award. It's a message you've been around too long.

My experience is to deal with things through humor.

The more I expect, the more unhappy I am going to be. The more I accept, the more serene I am.