You can't debate satire. Either you get it or you don't.

I say stupid white men are always the problem. That's never going to change.

I'm a religious fanatic? Yes, I am, actually.

Any time you got the Pope and the Dixie Chicks against you, your time is up.

You can't debate satire. Either you get it or you don't.

I'm from the Midwest, and guys like me don't go on diets. We don't do well on spinning classes.

Hope for the best is what we do, right from the moment we're born.