Horace's best ode would not please a young woman as much as the mediocre verses of the young man she is in love with.

The worst way to defend our freedom is to let our leaders start taking away our freedoms! It is exactly during times like these [a national crisis] that we need more freedom of speech, a strong and critical press, and a citizenry that is not afraid to stand up and say that the emperor has no clothes.

'Champagne' and 'breathmint' are the first two words all Oscar winners hear.

Somehow, I don't think Jesus came to Earth to ring the bell at the New York Stock Exchange.

Guns don't kill people, people kill people.

Back in the late '90s, I put together a humorous newsmagazine program called 'The Awful Truth' for Bravo. We helped one guy get an organ transplant whose insurance company had refused to pay. I thought, if we could save a guy's life in a 10-minute segment on cable, what could we do if we devoted a whole movie to a whole bunch of people?

How can there be inaccuracy in comedy?