I have been aspiring to write some sort of literature for a long time.

I'm a religious fanatic? Yes, I am, actually.

I think I'm in the majority of Americans. I believe that I am in the mainstream of middle America.

I remember the first time I received a cassette tape of a band called The Clash. I became an instant fan of the Clash and then bought their albums after that and went to their concerts and gave them my money... but I first got it for free.

I - honestly, I don't know of a worse lie one could tell other than a lie to take a country to war. To make up things to take people to war. That's just got to be the most obscene, immoral thing to do.

I have never owned a share of stock in my life, and the only time I've double dipped into anything is at the snack tray.

How can there be inaccuracy in comedy?