Canada is a country of ingredients without a cuisine; we're a country with musicians without an indigenous instrument; Toronto's a city that doesn't even have a dish named after it.

Having a kid is like falling in love for the first time when you're 12, but every day.

Canada is the essence of not being. Not English, not American, it is the mathematic of not being. And a subtle flavour - we're more like celery as a flavour.

I'm basically a sexless geek. Look at me, I have pasty-white skin, I have acne scars and I'm five-foot-nothing. Does that sound like a real sexual dynamo to you?

It's hard to be super full of yourself in Canada. If there was a motto of Canada, it would be, "Who do you think you are, eh?"

Canada is a country of ingredients without a cuisine; we're a country with musicians without an indigenous instrument; Toronto's a city that doesn't even have a dish named after it.

I can be described as many things, but no description of me is complete without saying 'Englishman.' My parents were from Liverpool and emigrated to Canada before I was born.