I do feel like, now, approaching fifty, I am definitely at a crossroads and having to reevaluate things and look at things. It's time for more change, and that's good.

I have fantasy jobs like working in retail at a department store just selling rich housewives outfits and saying 'this looks fabulous on you! Let me find a matching handbag!' Then, the other is being like some sort of Vice or taskforce, law enforcement, undercover [person]. Or possibly someday becoming a guerilla activist - I'm kind of in-training for that now anyways. So, maybe my retirement will be jumping on ships, kidnapping, and [participating in] espionage. I still fantasize.

As time goes on you are given responsibility and other things to deal with. You become a husband and a father and there's another shirt of stuff.

There are those uncomfortable things that've passed that you have to deal with or they define you, like childhood trauma. Like when I'm lost, I just feel like somewhere along the line, if you've gone through any childhood trauma, it makes you lose your essence and it takes a while to get that back. There are certain things about that that push my buttons.

I was taught early on in my recovery that, 'Pain is good. Extreme pain is extremely good.'

I do know that love, whether you're giving it or receiving it, or both, it is the ultimate healer.

I think, honestly, that ego makes you most vulnerable. When you are in humility you are much more comfortable, open and okay with BEING vulnerable, whereas the ego is the protecter, and even though you think you're protecting, I think you are more vulnerable if you're in ego.