Being with an insanely jealous person is like being in the room with a dead mammoth.

Take off all your clothes and walk down the street waving a machete and firing an Uzi, and terrified citizens will phone the police and report, There's a naked person outside!

Yes. The whole point about laughter is it's like mercury: you can't catch it, you can't catch what motivates it - that's why it's funny.

Jewish introspection and Jewish humor is a way of surviving . . . if you're not handsome and you're not athletic and you're not rich, there's still one last hope with girls, which is being funny.

I came to love silence, because it's so rare, and it's now my favorite aural condition.

That seems to me the greatest American danger we're all in, that we'll bargain away the experience of being alive for the appearance of it.

I love the editing process of making movies. I just wish that life had one.