I think parenthood is just ripe for comedy. This just happens to be told from the perspective of women.

You want baby daddy to be one step ahead of you. Which they can't be, so it's a weird thing to ask for. But I have.

Putting the makeup on, not a problem. Taking the makeup off, every night.... it makes your face swell.

You can handle anything.

I am very much a creature of habit, and I have no life consistency. None.

I commend women who wake up 30, 40 minutes early to put on eyeliner. I think it's ­beautiful. I'm just not that person.

You can’t get mad at a bear for being racist. You can’t get mad at a bear for being offensive. It’s not real.