Miles Kington Quotes

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Astronomers, like burglars and jazz musicians, operate best at night.

So far as good writing goes, the use of the exclamation mark is a sign of failure. It is the literary equivalent of a man holding up a card reading LAUGHTER to a studio audience.

Never criticize Americans. They have the best taste that money can buy.

Satellite photography in the 1970's gave rise to the long-range weather forecast, a month at a time. This in turn gave rise to the observation that the long-range weather forecast was wrong most of the time. In turn, this gave rise to the dropping of the long-range weather forecast and to the admission that really accurate forecasting could only cover the next day or two, and not always then.

The ability of dandelions to tell the time is somewhat exaggerated, owing to the fact that there is always one seed that refuses to be blown off; the time usually turns out to be 37 o'clock.

Everyone wants peace - and they will fight the most terrible war to get it.