It makes me cry because it means that fewer and fewer people are believing it's cool to want what I want, which is to be married and have kids and love each other in a monogamous, long-lasting relationship.

My mother is more of an adviser. I followed everything she did when I was younger, because I looked up to her so much.

He was so popular you could barely look at him without being blinded by cool.

There is some pressure when you are a woman doing what I do that you must support all other women unconditionally, no matter what they're projecting, or writing, or producing, or putting forth as their art. I think that's equally arbitrary and random and unfair, and kind of sexist. The secretly sexist way. I have really high standards for what I think is funny. I have that for everything, and I think it would be disingenuous of me to blanket-ly love everything a woman has produced simply to make a statement that we're all in this together.

I find it very sad that so many girls who look up to me are young women of color who have been told that they are ugly, and who feel that they are not normal...I think it's so important that women look like me find that they can be beautiful or objects of love, attention and affection.

It'd be great to be so famous that if I murder someone, I will never, ever, ever serve any jail time, even if it's totally obvious to everyone that I did it.

People who are good at stand-up, they sort of seem to have to do it. Something within them makes them have to go on the road.