Being a father is like directing Alien or Invasion of the Body Snatchers. It's much more difficult than directing an episode of TV. Also, directing a show or movie lasts a few months at most, parenting lasts for decades.

I'm feeling pretty good. A lot of people don't know this, but I am not currently in prison, which feels great.

If God is watching your every move, you should probably straighten up your act a little bit.

If you can dress as a stormtrooper and go to a laundromat, or wear a sexy cheese gown in public, you might start to find "normal" social interactions a little less daunting.

Dressage is when you put a dress on your horse. It's like putting on drag, but for horses.

I think there are presences out there that we can't see or directly communicate with that have benevolent influence on us. Whether they're angels or something else, I'm not sure.

Meditating takes on a different quality when someone taps you on the shoulder and says, "Dad, why are you sleeping like that?"