Oh, hell, I can’t go on a spiritual journey—I'm constipated.

Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention.

It's like, duh. Just when you thought there wasn't a dime's worth of difference between the two parties, the Republicans go and prove you're wrong.

The charm of Ronald Reagan is not just that he kept telling us screwy things, it was that he believed them all. No wonder we trusted him, he never lied to us. ... His stubbornness, even defiance, in the face of facts ('stupid things,' he once called them in a memorable slip) was nothing short of splendid. ... This is the man who proved that ignorance is no handicap to the presidency.

If you ever get to the place where injustice doesn't bother you, you're dead.

Politics is not a picture on a wall or a television sitcom that you can decide you don't much care for.

Pigs get fat and hogs get slaughtered.