Every job I've ever gotten has been an accident. All the jobs I actually go after, I don't get.

I spent most of my life locked in my bedroom, miserable about my raging acne.

It occurred to me, when I was old enough to make rules of my own, that they should be fair and simple.

How strange, when your father's wearing women's clothes and platform shoes, that a pair of loafers looks incredible.

I'm totally convinced I can write the perfect pop song.

I think I have a dark view of the world. I have to make everything funny, otherwise it all seems so sad.

I've got a new relationship and I'm trapped in this old life.