I don't see why there is no intelligent alien life in the universe.

If you're really successful at bullshitting, it means you're not hanging around enough people smarter than you.

I have thoughts every day that are themselves tweets.

The first colony on Mars is not going to be built by a private company. How are you going to make money? You're not.

I don't know why a beauty salon would have a cop's hat and the curling irons are not deadly unless they're still plugged in and they're hot. So I'm not quite sure about that. But I don't know who remembers anymore that you can ignite spray cans, plus there aren't really any spray cans anymore 'cause that was destroying the ozone layer. So I'm - actually, I'll have to go with they chased him with the curling irons.

The number of people in the world engaged in this search for catastrophic impactors totals one or two dozen. How long into the future are you willing to protect Homo sapiens on Earth? Before you answer that question, take a detour to Arizona's Meteor Crater during your next vacation.

When you are a hammer, all of your problems will look like nails to you.