To be honest, I think love is complete bullshit. I don't think anyone ever loves anyone. I think the best people ever get is horny; horny and scared, so when they find someone who makes them horny, and they get too scared of the world outside, they stay together and they call it love.

It's certainly not too late to change to the winning side. But you know, you also have the freedom to stay just where you are. That's what it means to be an American. That's the miracle of America. Freedom to believe means the freedom to believe the wrong thing, after all. Just as freedom of speech gives you the right to stay silent.

Make glorious and fantastic mistakes.

Great, big, serious novels always get awards. If it's a battle between a great, big, serious novel and a funny novel, the funny novel is doomed.

Set your fantasies in the here and now and then, if challenged, claim to be writing Magical Realism.

Tomorrow may be hell, but today was a good writing day, and on the good writing days nothing else matters.

I went away in my head, into a book. That was where I went whenever real life was too hard or too inflexible.