Adventures are all very well in their place, but there's a lot to be said for regular meals and freedom from pain.

I feel like I am involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell me the rules, and who smiles all the time.

Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here.

I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly.

If the same object from two different times touches itself, one of two things will happen. Either the Universe will cease to exist. Or three remarkable dwarfs will dance through the streets with flowerpots on their heads.

That is the eternal folly of man. To be chasing after the sweet flesh, without realizing that it is simply a pretty cover for the bones.

I don't just randomly kill people... I kill people when it's funny.