Why do they blame me for all their little failings? They use my name as if I spent my entire days sitting on their shoulders, forcing them to commits acts they would otherwise find repulsive. 'The devil made me do it.' I have never made one of them do anything. Never. They live their own tiny lives. I do not live their lives for them.

Many phenomena - wars, plagues, sudden audits - have been advanced as evidence for the hidden hand of Satan in the affairs of Man, but whenever students of demonology get together the M25 London orbital motorway is generally agreed to be among the top contenders for exhibit A.

The future came and went in the mildly discouraging way that futures do.

We do what we do, because of who we are. If we did otherwise, we would not be ourselves.

Because if you don't stand up for the stuff you don't like, when they come for the stuff you do like, you've already lost.

I think I would rather be a man than a god. We don’t need anyone to believe in us. We just keep going anyhow. It’s what we do.

The cartoon me writes the books cartoon people read in the cartoon world, because they need things to read there too.