Everyone always noticed Ashley. She was like a flashing neon sign for anyone with an ounce of testosterone.

And when I came in with tears in my eyes, you always knew whether I needed you to hold me or just let me be. I don't know how you knew, but you did, and you made it easier for me.

Believe it or not, that was the first time I recognized that in some ways she was just like the rest of us.

When I was seventeen, my life changed forever . . .

I am lost without you. I am soulless, a drifter without a home, a solitary bird in a flight to nowhere. I am all these things, and I am nothing at all. This, my darling, is my life without you. I long for you to show me how to live again.

Men are like that sometimes - if they meet someone and fall in love, it's real, no matter how fast it happened. But if someone falls for a woman they happen to care about, all they do is question the man's intentions.

I know the Lord has a plan for us all, but sometimes, I just don't understand what the message can be.