I'm not good with time. Like, if I ask you the time and you say A quarter to 2, I wouldn't know. Why can't you just say 2:30?

I don't go tanning anymore because Obama put a 10 percent tax on tanning. McCain would never put a 10 percent tax on tanning. Because he's pale and would probably want to be tan.

I went into designing my house thinking I could have some more expensive items because I didn't realize my kids were going to be animals.

Old people they lose their sex life and that's not a good time. That's why they get divorced all the time.

Don't let negativity affect your vision. People say harsh things, but don't let them affect you.

I don't eat friggin' lobster or anything like that. Because they're alive when you kill it.

The only person I've had sex with on Jersey Shore is my boyfriend