I was always funny, but I didn't know being funny was a gift.

There's a lot of women out there, some of whom are my age who've never been married and some who have been married and would like to be married again but think their ship has sailed, and I'm like, 'Oh no, honey, let Miss Niecy show you it is never too late for love!'

I have an extra set of eyelashes because you never know. I could cry or laugh, or it could be windy, and I'll need a standby pair.

Although my marriage left me with three beautiful children, it also left me with a healthy dose of self-doubt, low self-esteem, and an extreme desire to be loved again. I was operating on empty, expecting to be paid in full.

The truth is black celebrities are not as sought after in the press as white celebrities, and that is comforting.

I say God is kind. So many people want to do what I do [comedy] for a living, and so he didn't have to choose me. So I don't take all the credit, but I do know that I love what I do, and I see it as a gift.

Celebrate your child's achievement, then rotate it when the next mini-masterpiece comes along. Then chuck the old picture. Don't worry that you're throwing away a memory. Your children will remember your praise more than they will remember the picture with macaroni and glitter glued on it.