The fate of the African continent does not f-ing depend on a load of f-ing musicians in Hyde Park singing f-ing s-t songs to kids.

There's nothing good on the news. You're not telling me CNN is all cats in trees, are you? Nothing can be that good if Piers Morgan is in it, you know what I mean?

I don't mind One Direction. They're harmless, aren't they?

To be quite honest, John Lennon had questionable politics. There was a flip side. He was all peace and love, but he was a very violent character.

It's a sad state when more people retweet than buy records.

I was playing guitar before I heard The Beatles, but as I got older and listened to their tunes I realized they were amazing. They inspire me more now than they did when I was a kid and are still the greatest.

I can make going to the dry-cleaners last an entire day, and the dry cleaners might be 150 yards from my front door. You might find it hard to believe, but I am bone-idle lazy.