Chart positions are for people with manbags who get to work at 11 A.M. because they've been at a digital meeting.

Next year I hope to get a stalker or two because I don't believe you've arrived until you get a stalker.

I envy drummers. It must be the ultimate to sing and play drums at the same time. Phil Collins, no wonder he's so f... happy.

I hate that Alex [James] and Damon [Albarn]. I hope they catch AIDS and die.

None of us went to university, none of us went to college, none of us played in a different band before, none of us done anything. We were the last great band to come out of nowhere, on an indie label. We've sold 50 million records. That's still the benchmark. Until someone does what we've done, I'll always consider myself the last big songwriter

I've never been asked to do a collaboration. I guess I just don't give off that come-and-get-me vibe. I wouldn't be adverse to doing one with Coldplay or U2 - anyone who sells 50 million albums.

Gone are the days when Virgin Records was owned by Richard Branson, a fan of music. Now they're all owned by some guy who bought it off some guy who bought it off some guy who wants a return on his investment.